Thursday, March 14, 2024

Prisons and GrabFood Join Forces!



Food delivery service are now available to  prisoners under house arrest, revealed by souces within Malaysia Home Ministry. 

According to Malaysia Home Ministery, Malaysia prision opetators and food delivery operator GrabFood Malaysia will team up to serve street food to high profile prisoners. 

Prisoners will be provided special phone with the option to order food from GrabFood Malaysia app. 

Critics dub it "jailhouse cuisine meets political palates" while questioning the taste and ethics.

"Other high profile prisoners will also have this option. 

"Prisoners have rights too, we want them to have a taste of freedom so they can be inspired and do good once they are free," a Grab Food employee said.

Officials defend the collaboration, claiming it promotes rehabilitation and political outreach.

However, skeptics wonder if it's a recipe for corruption or just a tasteless attempt at culinary diplomacy.

As politicians feast on prison-prepared delicacies, citizens ponder the implications. Is this a genuine effort to bridge gaps or a case of politicians getting a taste of their own medicine?

In the midst of the gastronomic spectacle, one thing remains clear: whether it's a stunt or a sincere gesture, the union of prison grub and political appetites is sure to leave a bitter aftertaste.




Purely satirical news

Morse code about to takeover Malaysia schools



Amidst the uproar over schools, authorities unveil a quirky solution to language issues in vernacular schools: Morse code.

Starting on 12 May, all schools in Melaka will be using Morse code as the major language, if successful government will implement this policy nationwide. 

"Other languages still be taught as a separate subject, our immediate goal is to teach them how to speak and think in Morse code," said one official in Malaysia's education ministry. 

"It just might be the solution, Malaysia need, it is time to stop arguing about language and just teach the kids what they need to know," Souces in Dong Zong said. 

Critics scoff at the Morse madness, calling it a step backwards. Will students crack the code or just crack up?

In a Morse mayhem, educators defend the move, claiming it promotes critical thinking, however, sceptics argue it's a signal of educational chaos, leaving many wondering whether this Morse code mess is a stroke of genius or a blundering beep-fest.

As the dots and dashes echo through classrooms, confusion reigns supreme. Is this Morse makeover the language revolution we never knew we needed or just a cryptic cry for help?

In the battle of language, Morse emerges as the unlikely hero or the punchline of a cosmic joke.

Will students embrace the dots and dashes or decode their way to detention?




Purely satirical news

Shocking Revelation - Schoolkids Smoking Rampant! You Won't Believe What Authorities Did Next!

In a jaw-dropping twist, it's been uncovered that tens of thousands of school kids are puffing away like mini chimneys as reported by The Star daily. To tackle this puff-pocalypse, authorities have recruited ex-strippers as teachers to seductively sway them from smoking.

Yes, you read that right. The classroom is now a stage for ex-dancers to strut their stuff and shimmy out smoking habits. 

Critics scoff at the idea, deeming it a ludicrous attempt to extinguish a fiery issue.

But officials from Malaysia education ministry defend their saucy strategy, arguing that desperate times call for desperate measures.

 So, as the smoke clears, we're left wondering: Will this risqué approach stub out the burning urge to light up or just fan the flames of controversy?

One thing's for sure: in this topsy-turvy world, where pole dancing meets pedagogy, the education system is truly going up in smoke.





Purely satirical news

Wednesday, March 13, 2024

Women aroused by sausage

Penang women are seduced by the seductive allure of a sausage's long and erotic shape.

Ahmad, a hot dog seller in George Town, says the only solution is his latest creation: triangular sausage!

He added that the shape of the hot dog often leads some fallen to temptation.

Now, with his playful new creation, everyone can enjoy a hot dog without getting tangled up in any unintended temptation. Talk about turning a sausage saga into a hilarious adventure

"It is aggravating, people sometimes get aroused simply by looking at the sausage," he said.

"I am running a legitimate store here," he said.










Purely satirical news

Tuesday, March 12, 2024

Jailed politician Job Kor Recipe for Economic Woes


Kangkung Belacan by Irwandy Mazwir


In a zany twist,  Malaysia jailed prominent politician who want to be known only as Job Kor offers a leafy solution to Malaysia's rising living costs brought by tax hike woes: "Let them eat kangkung!"

With a wink and a nod to Marie Antoinette, J*b Kor proposes ditching caviar for humble greens to combat soaring living costs.

"If they can't afford to buy food like rice, then they can get creative," he said in his cell, when interview by reporters today. 

"Malaysia today would be in better place, if they didn't choose SST," he added.

"In today climate, everything is expensive, meat rice, even potatoes, we got no choice but to resort to eating kangkung," Klang resident Ahmad said. He later added "Well if it good enough for Job Kor, good enough for me." 

Critics question the viability of the kangkung cure on social media, with one Facebook user by the nane Teddy Kong quipped, "Will kangkung make our wallets grow or just our waistlines?"

Undeterred by skepticism, Job Kor doubles down, claiming Kangkung to be Malaysia solution to Malaysia economy, envisioning a nation of kangkung connoisseurs.

As Malaysians ponder the veggie revolution, one thing's clear – when life gives you taxes, make kangkung salad!

During former Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak's tenure, Malaysia introduced the GST at 6% on April 1, 2015, replacing the SST.

In September 2018, another Malaysia former PM Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad reintroduce sales and services tax (SST).




Purely satirical news

Sunday, March 10, 2024

Rain Dancer Sought to Bring Rain to Malaysian State – Residents Opt for "Dancer" Approach!





Residents of Penang are taking matters into their own hands as they desperately seek relief from scorching heat and drought, after the government failed to resolve the water issue in Penang, they're embracing a wacky new trend: "dancing" for rain!

Armed with their best dance moves and an abundance of enthusiasm, locals are hitting the streets, striking dab poses in hopes of summoning rain clouds. "We're tired of waiting for the government to do their thing," says a resident Lee Kuan Yiw, mid-dab. "It's time to dab our way to hydration!"

Observers are baffled by the unconventional approach, with meteorologists scratching their heads over the effectiveness of the "dabcer" method. "It's certainly creative," admits one weather expert Roberto Kuok Lin Yan, "but whether it'll actually bring rain remains to be seen. Stranger things have happened!"

As the town transforms into a dance floor of dabbing enthusiasts, sceptics are quick to point out the absurdity of the situation. "I never thought I'd see the day when people believed dancing could control the weather," chuckles a passerby Ahmad Shah, shaking his head in disbelief. "But hey, if it works, I'll dab along too!"

Whether the dancing will succeed in their quest for rain or simply provide entertainment remains to be seen. One thing's for sure – in a world full of droughts and dilemmas, sometimes all you need is a little dab of hope to keep your spirits high!

Previously Penang's Chief Minister, Chow Kon Yeow, embarked on a whimsical cloud-seeding mission over Air Itam and Teluk Bahang Dams on Feb 27 and 28, hoping to coax rain from the heavens. Alas, nature had other plans. Now, with a nod to whimsy, he pledges to watch and wait, avoiding further artificial rain endeavours if possible.

























Purely satirical news

Truck-kun, Malaysia's Last Hope Against Skyrocketing Living Costs: Another World Awaits?




  
In a zany twist, Malaysian youth pin their hopes on Truck-kun to escape rising living costs brought by tax hike! With its teleporting prowess, Truck-kun might just be the getaway vehicle they need.


Group of Malaysian youth have taken upon themselves to located Truck-kun, they scoured various truck stops, looking for Truck-kun.


Malaysian government raises SST from 6% to 8% on March 1, 2024, coincidentally price rises at the same time. 


Memes featuring the elusive truck have flooded social media, with captions like "Forget SST, Truck-kun, take us away!" and "Dear Truck-kun, we're ready for an adventure - tax-free(SST), of course!"


Experts are baffled by the phenomenon, with some speculating that the youth's desperation has led them to embrace whimsical solutions. "It's a testament to the power of escapism in times of hardship," says cultural analyst Dr. Funfuzz. "Truck-kun represents the ultimate escape from reality, even if it's just wishful thinking."


Meanwhile, government officials are scratching their heads trying to make sense of the trend. "We're exploring all options to address the concerns of our youth," assures source working in Finance Ministerry, but declined to comment on whether they'd help to search for Truck-kun.


As Malaysian youngsters eagerly await Truck-kun's arrival, one thing's for sure - in a world of rising taxes, sometimes all you need is a little anime magic to keep the spirit alive!




















Purely satirical news

Prisons and GrabFood Join Forces!

Food delivery service are now available to  prisoners under house arrest, revealed by souces within Malaysia Home Ministry.  According to Ma...